Sunlight in bedroom wall
makes the room safe and sound.
But moonless nights, (aren't they all)
Sure can hide the Hellhound!
You slowly turn your head to peek,
behind that curtain, dark and bleak.
There must be something lurking there
a hippogriff or a hungry bear!
No such luck, your guest tonight,
comes not from reality
no simple fright
Do you remember nights of yore
When strangler-slashers spilled your gore?
Or trying in vain to flee the house
Engulfed in flames, fired up blouse?
But this is not a night of survival
it would be too easy to face such a rival.
no, your foe in this night of dread
wont leave your skin even slightly shred
Instead you must fight for the ultimate goal
if you lose, you forfeit your immortal soul
in dream you are seeking your beloved child
again the same funhouse, night after night.
I know it’s my fault if she can't find home
‘tis very reason why alone I must roam
this carnival of horrors that my mistakes built
I maynot survive this soul crushing guilt!
The night grows dark,
silent amusement park
Blond hair of my daughter,
'Tis time for my slaughter.
Turn every page till you reach the end,
Read every word before you press 'send'
Taste every letter with your heart, pretend
That you can be honest at last,
I have always been a voracious reader, I learned to read when I was 4, by 7 I had read all Tarzan books. I love understanding stuff. People talk about going to rabbit holes, I practically live in some London Underground of strange knowledge. I have studied everything, from theoretical cosmology to Aboriginal Dreamtime. From the reign of the Flavius in Rome to Hadrons and quarks in Quantum field.
About 10 years ago I got a viral infection, which attacked my brain, leaving me without memory. Reading is very hard for me nowadays. So I have turned my interests also inward. I have studied myself, my energy, resonance and vibration, the unseen stuff, that makes me, me.
Fortunately for me, COVID-19 and technology necessitated online classrooms. I have been able to study, and graduate from several institutions and get a formal blessings from individual teachers, šamans, Priests and Elders.
I am Reiki Master. To keep myself grounded, I meditate every day, design and craft knives and swords. I also whittle a lot; I really enjoy getting a piece of wood and a knife and turn it into something! It’s like performing high Magic or Alchemy!
After 45 years of active, relentless search for answers, I have found some things I may call Truths. Like, there is nothing more important than Love. And that our true Essence or Sentience is not a side product of neurochemical reactions. It is much, much more. For me, that is the “Prime Mover”, not some dude sitting on a cloud.
I (or my heart) have flatlined five times. But for some reason I keep coming back for more. I think, that getting repeatedly so close to death, has made me more appreciative of the limited time we have here amongst our loved ones.
It has made me realise, that I can’t go back and change the beginning, but I can start where I am, and change the ending.
You can too, if you wish!
JC blademaster, woodcrafter, soulcatcher
Puuveistoksia ja koruja:
Veitset ja teräaseet:
Esoteric & deepish: